Notes from a Friend (II)

Below is the script of the project which I will be presenting at the coming Toastmasters Club meeting.

In a sense, I am killing two birds with one stone - below is a book review of the book "Notes from a Friend" by Anthony Robbins and also the script of my Toastmasters project.

"Notes from a Friend" is a very uplifting and good read. I strongly recommend that you head down to your local library or bookstore, grab the book and read. It may just be the book that change your destiny.

Enjoy!
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Three years ago, there was a lady who was at a low ebb in her life. She was preoccupied by thoughts of why life was unfair to her, of what she did not have, and of God’s denial.

Then destiny intervened. She walked into this room and found this group of well-meaning friends. They gave her the encouragement to face whatever challenges, not just speaking, that faced her.

This lady is me.

Greetings. In the Toastmasters journey, I learn not just the skills of public speaking. More than that, it opens my eyes to read extensive, to read with an open mind and opens the door to self-improvement. I learn that what happens to me is not God’s denial, but God’s delay. And I am grateful for the detour. Because of that, today I am a Toastmaster and also a wiser and happier person.

Tonight, I will like to pass the Toastmasters’ gift of sharing on and share with you three golden lessons to live our lives to the fullest. And I have used the book title “Notes from a Friend” written by the world renowned success coach Anthony Robbins. Like Anthony Robbins, I hoped my little speech today could encourage you to press on despite the many vicissitudes of life.

Golden Lesson Number 1. [Draw a curve line on the whiteboard]. Is this line concave or convex? It’s both depending on how you look at it.

You are what you believe. That is the easy part. The hard part is that you have to take absolute responsibility. For example, my dear friends, you can believe with all your heart that you are a fantastic public speaker. But would that belief alone make you a fabulous speaker? [Pause] No, you need to take responsibility. Taking responsibility will give you the power to be in control. By giving excuses such like I have no time to attend Toastmasters’ meeting or prepare speeches, this power will be taken away from you slowly and surely. By taking responsibility, you acknowledge that it is your action that determines how good a speaker you are. It gives you back the power to be in control.

A good example is Roger Bannister. At the time when people believed that it was not only impossible for a person to complete one mile in less than four minutes but also dangerous to the health of those who tried to do so, he chose to believe otherwise. He not just believed in it, he took responsibility for it. Roger Bannister was then a 25-year old medical student at Oxford. He trained hard and he approached his belief scientifically using his medical knowledge. On that fateful day, May 6, 1954, he raced and crossed the finish line with a time of 3 minutes, 59.4 seconds. It was his moment of vindication. The psychological barrier of 4 minute mile was broken forever.

Golden Lesson Number 2. Persistence pays. In whatever field that you may be, the key to success is to take consistent action every day, every minute, every moment. Every time you do something you learn from it and you will find a way to do it better next time. Doesn’t that sound familiar? It is just like doing our Toastmasters’ project.

By using this same formula, we have Colonel Sanders who built an empire of KFC restaurants all over the world. At the age of 65, Colonel Sanders’ one and only restaurant failed due to the opening of the new highway, Interstate 75 which diverted customers’ traffic from his restaurant. He took a meager $105 dollars from his first social security check. He then decided to sell his secret chicken recipe. He was a very, very, very persistent man and he stayed true to his path even after 1,009 “no”s. He succeeded eventually because he focused on the solution and not the problem. With each “no”, he learnt how to win a potential franchise in his next encounter.

The third golden lesson is the most important. It is to have goals in our lives. There are some people whom we all know who seem to be constantly lost in a fog of confusion. They go one way, then another. They try one thing, then shift to another. They move down one path, then retreat in the opposite direction. Their problem is simple, “they do not know what they want”. You cannot hit a target if you do not know what it is.

We need to set goals is to give our lives focus and to move us in the direction we would like to go. Ultimately, whether or not you achieve a goal is not half as important as the type of person you become in pursuit of it.

So my friends, I urge you to set goals in your life. Believe in yourself, take responsibility for your action and be persistent. I believe you will achieve a more fulfilling life with these three golden lessons.

To your success.

Back to you Toastmaster of the Evening.

Tomato Bruschetta Recipe

I am not exactly a food fanatic. However, I do appreciate a quick and easy fix which also taste yummy. This is one of them:

Recipe:

3 large tomatoes (diced seedless)
1 tbsp chopped basil
1 tbsp chopped parsely
1 tsp chopped garlic (can be fried with the oil, if preferred)
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
½ tsp coarse black pepper
½ tsp salt

Mix all tog & chill. Eat with toasted bread or whatever u like.

Enjoy!

Secrets of Speaking Success

After a hiatus of a few months due to a change in work portfolio, I have finally managed to wrestle some semblance of control. I have resumed my favorite pastimes - reading, writing and yes, speaking.

I booked a speaking slot in my Toastmasters club and delivered the promise to myself - to keep my journey of self-improvement. I deeply believe in the Toastmasters program of learning by doing. It has been a life-transformational journey which is still evolving.

Tonight, I will like to share with my readers the "Secrets of Speaking Success" which I have delivered for my first advanced project for Speaking to Inform. I hope you too can benefit from it.

The Secrets of Speaking Success

Greetings,

There once was an eight-year old girl who was extremely shy and reserved. Alas, she was thrusted into limelight when her teacher signed her up for a story telling contest. She chose the option of avoidance - not to think about it until that fateful day. She stood on stage, froze with fear. In the end, the teacher had to lead her off stage. I was the girl.

By a show of hands, how many of you are currently having or used to have phobia speaking? [Pause] I see that almost all in the room raise their hands.

Fret not, help is at hand. This is the Competent Communicator Manual that you will have when you join any Toastmasters Club. It is in the welcome package sent right to your doorsteps.

Today, I will like to share with you on how this manual will make you a better speaker. There are 10 projects in the guide and you can divide them into three levels – beginner, immediate and advanced.

Beginner level projects are projects 1 to 3. 1 is on Ice Breaker for you to know the speaking skills you already have and what are the areas to improve upon. Thereafter, you will move on to Project 2 and 3 to learn about structure in a speech – opening, body and ending; and what you want your audience to do or to know at the end of the speech. For example, in my case, I will want my audience to have an overview of what the Competent Communicator manual covers.

After the basics are the in place, you will move on the Immediate stage in Projects 4 to 6. In project 4 we learn to use vivid and expressive words. For example, when I say, I stroll, I walk, I sprint, I zoom. The words, stroll, walk, sprint, zoom refers to moving from one place to another using our legs, but there is a different speed associated to each word. You will also learn to create music using words. Eg, I zoom and zonked out. Zzzzz… Project 5 is on body language – a confident person is confident because he is congruent in his action. How would you perceive a speaker who say yes and do this (shaking the head). But these are the things which we do subconsciously when we are nervous. Project 6 on vocal variety, so when you talk be careful of not doing this “I am going to share with you on the ten projects in the Competent Communicator manual.” This is a sure way to get people to go to sleep. By the way, vocal variety also includes pauses. [Pause]. I pause because I want to STRESS that having pauses are important. So we can pause before we say something important.

Finally, after completing these projects, you will find yourself several notches up in your public speaking skills. Then you can proceed to the Advance stage in project 8 to 10, whereby you will learn how to use different visual aids in project 8, learn to persuade others and finally, having inspired in the Toastmasters journey, it is your turn to inspire others in finale project – project 10.

Before embarking on the Toastmasters’ Journey, I was groping the dark before any business presentation. And because, it was so dark, I could not see, there was a lot of fear. Then there is light and the secrets of speaking success are revealed to me.

Learning public speaking is like learning swimming. Can you learn swimming just by reading books or attending a 3-day crash course? [Pause] Naturally, I was crashed.

The magic of the Competent Communicator module is that you do not need to complete all the 10 projects to be better. After each speaking assignment, you will be better. That is the law of nature. It is just that we have to battle that lousy feeling of defeat initially especially when we are no good. But in the Toastmasters’ Club, we provide a safe environment for you to practice. Remember successful people do things NOT because they are good. They DO, SPEND TREMENOUS AMOUNT OF TIME ON IT TO BE GOOD.

I hope to see fellow toastmasters to register for their next time speaking slot. For guests who are looking to improve their speaking skills, hesitate no more, sign up with our club today, reward is within your reach.

Back to you Toastmaster of the Evening.

John Rock's Error

I had just read the article John Rock's Error by Malcolm Gladwell.

http://www.gladwell.com/2000/2000_03_10_a_rock.html

It piqued my interest as as a friend of mine has recently lost her battle to cancer.

It gives a layman's understanding of what is cancer:

"Cancer, after all, occurs because as cells divide and reproduce they sometimes make mistakes that cripple the cells’ defenses against runaway growth."

It talks about the female reproduction system and how John Rock, the inventor of the birth control pill thought that women would find it strange not to have monthly menstruation. How presumptuous! A man could never understand a woman.

I find the alternative argument based on evolution instead of theology more convincing. In the evolutionary case, a medical researcher Straussman went to South African to study the woman's reproduction system in pre-industrial era. Read this in the past, a woman only had about 100 menstruation cycle compared to the current 350 to 400 in her lifetime. It is due to demographic shift whereby women today do not have so much children (8 to 9 in the past) and also shorter period of nursing.

It also fills the information gap on women on the pill having a higher chance of having breast cancer. The reason is the the pill works by releasing the hormone progestin which leads the body to think that it is slightly pregnant. This helps to reduce the number of times the egg breaks into the ovarian walls and the sloughing off of the thickened uterus lining. On the whole, the risk of ovarian and endometrium cancer will be greatly lowered. However, whatever good the progestin does is undone as the same hormone is responsible for preparing the breast for child-birth. Again, the division and reproduction of cells heighten the risk of breast cancer.

I like the last segment which is an argument in logics on why Henderson and Pike do not believe that it is the environment that causes breast cancer:

"Henderson and Pike, however, became fascinated by a number of statistical pecularities. For one thing, the rate
of increase in breast-cancer risk rises sharply throughout women’s thirties and forties and then, at menopause, it starts
to slow down.

If a cancer is caused by some toxic outside agent, you’d expect that rate to rise steadily with each advancing year, as the number of mutations and genetic mistakes steadily accumulates. Breast cancer, by contrast, looked as if it were being driven by something specific to a woman’s reproductive years. What was more, younger women who had had their ovaries removed had a markedly lower risk of breast cancer; when their bodies weren’t producing estrogen and progestin every month, they got far fewer tumors.

Pike and Henderson became convinced that breast cancer was linked to a process of cell division similar to that of ovarian and endometrial cancer. The female breast, after all, is just as sensitive to the level of hormones in a woman’s body as the reproductive system. When the breast is exposed to estrogen, the cells of the terminal-duct lobular unit—where most breast cancer arises—undergo a flurry of division. And during the mid-to-late stage of the menstrual cycle, when the ovaries start producing large amounts of progestin, the pace of cell division in that region doubles."


Enjoy!

Lessons from Japan

The recent unfortunate triple whammy - earthquake, tsunami and nuclear fallout that besieged Japan was heart-wrenching. Amid the chaos, there was calm and order. The Japanese stood out for their stoicism.

I know my own personal challenges is merely a tiny drop in the ocean compared to what Japan has or is facing today. However, the way Japan handles these disasters holds profound lessons to the way we lead our lives.

Japan is no stranger to natural disaster. The word "tsunami" originates from a Japanese word meaning harbour wave. Japan lies on the cusp of the Pacific-Philippine-Eurasian triple plane junction, where the complex interaction of the three tectonic plates is unpredictable.

The Japanese are well-prepared, they have built buildings to withstand the tremors of earthquake, they have built barrier at the Fukushima Dai-ichi Nuclear plant, they have numerous back-up plans to handle the many what-ifs situation. Despite their preparedness, a black swan event occurs.

Instead of despair, we see the stoicism of Japan strongly playing out as the unfortunate event continue to unfolds. Besides stoicism, there is perhaps another Japanese word "Gambaru" which means "do your best", "hang on there", "keep going" that is keeping the Japanese going.

Japan is still coming to grips to the extent of the damage. I have every confidence that Japan with her stoicisim and Gambaru spirit will recover from this setback and rise to greater heights.

Theory on Risk

Another interesting insight from Freakonomics.

According to Peter Sandman, mathematically, the risk equation can be written as follows:

Risk = Hazard + Outrage

Unfortunately, hazard and outrage do not carry equal weight in the risk equation. When hazard is high and outrage is low, people underreact. But when hazard is low and outrage is high, they overreact. In other words, risk that you can control is much less a source of outrage than the risk you cannot control.

An example is that though many more children die from drowning in a swimming pool than from a gun shot. Most parents in the States forbid their children from going to a family with a gun but not one with a swimming pool.

So why is a swimming pool less frightening than a gun? The thought of a child being shot through the chest with a gun is gruesome, dramatic, horrifying - in a word, outrageous. Swiming pools do not inspire outrage. This is due in part to the familiarity factor. But it takes only about thirty seconds for a child to drown, and it often happens noiselessly. The steps to prevent drowning meanwhile, are pretty straightforward: a watchful adult, a fence around the pool, a locked back door so a toddler doesn't slip outside unnoticed.

Notes from a Friend (I)

I chanced upon a very fantastic book "Notes from a Friend" by Antony Robbins, an international leader in peak performance. I have his other book "Awaken the Giant Within" and as what Antony confessed, many readers did not manage to finish reading the 400-plus pages book as it was a heavy read. I was one of them.

This is another good book which I will like to share with my readers. It is concise and easy-to-under guide on the most powerful and life-changing tools and principles. Starting in 1991, a self-published version of this book has been handed out to thousands of people in need, as part of the Anthony Robbins Foundation's Thanksgiving "Basket Brigade." The book provided inspirations to individuals to overcome the most challenging circumstances.

From my personal experience, I used to doubt the soundness and effectiveness of such self-improvement books. I was then sailing smoothly in my life. However, when I picked them up and read again at the lowest ebb of my life, I found a new meaning in the same words that I have once doubted.

Napolean Hill said that when one was ready for success, he would know. I realised that there would not be success without failure. It was only when one encountered failure that the path to success would appear before one.

It is not difficult to be successful. One just needs loads of positive thinking, persistence, and never-say-die attitude. Sounds simple? It is that simple. But Napolean Hill never said that it would be easy. In fact, he acknowledged that it would be a Herculean task. That is why, reading "Notes of a Friend" helps to keep our hopes alive and propels us to keep on trying.

I will be sharing with you on the key takeaways from this little insightful book in my next post. Until then, my friends press on in your quest!